Characters

Janitor: No one knows who he is or where he came from... all they know is since he showed up the bathrooms have never been cleaner. "I don't know how he does it, but it smells like fresh baked cookies in there," "Thanks to the Janitor, the bathrooms are quickly becoming my favorite rooms in the building, now if we could just work on his people skills." Faculty and students alike have been less than impressed with the new Janitor's gruff demeanor. "He's a little too intense," says one student, "I saw him sweeping cobwebs from the ceiling in the stairwell and I swear to god it looked like he was fighting a war! Take no prisoners!"

Professor Hildencress: Professor Julian Torvald Hildencress has been a member of the Mt. Peacemore University faculty for the last thirty-two years. Although he began his career with gusto, publishing two major papers and expanding the department to twice its size in his first year, the university no longer has the same enthusiasm they once did for the old man. Students regularly drop his classes because "he seems unstable" and "a little reckless in the lab." Other faculty refer to him as the "mad scientist" and "that nut over in Newton Hall." But little do they know that the professor has been planning an experiment unparalleled in its importance in the field of medicine...

Tom: Tom spends his Christmas's (as well as most of the days in between) seated at Eddie's Bar with a freshly emptied glass. He seems amiable enough but he doesn't really have much going for him. He is currently looking for some new friends to "just hang out with or something." He enjoys watching television and talking about the weather. He is especially interested in finding a friend with a car. "I lost my license a while ago and in my experience I find it takes a lot longer to walk places than it does to drive there." Favorite Food: the peanut. Favorite Christmas Memory:"Bobby's first Christmas."

Eddie: Devoted bartender and owner of "Eddie's Bar and Beer," though he almost lost half of it to his now ex-wife, Edith, in their recent divorce. He continues to wear his wedding ring not because of any feelings he may still have for his ex but because "I just can't get the damn thing off!" Favorite Christmas Memory: "I don't really do holidays anymore."

Sam Sheriff: Police officer and long time friend to Eddie the bartender. He plans on working this Christmas because "I guess I don't really have any plans anymore." He recently lost his partner (the love of his life) in a fatal car accident. "I feel sorry for the guy," a fellow officer admits, "it's just too bad that he's still such a dick." Favorite Christmas Memory: "Big drug bust last year, Carol and I... that was our first real case together."

Perp: Although he is no stranger to the back of the squad car, he insists that he's "not a bad guy, I'm just misunderstood." Banned from the local petting zoo and fired from his job at the animal shelter, the perp (as he is referred to by the local authorities) is currently looking for work as a farm hand: "You should hire me because I really get into my work." Favorite Christmas Memory: "watching scary movies with my sister-in-law... she's so hot!" Favorite Scary Movie: "anything with zombies, sis says I have zombies on the brain!"

Kristen: Best known for her work as a student security guard, Kristen has nearly attained her criminal justice degree at Mt. Peacemore University. "My goal was to graduate a semester early, but if I take 24 credits next semester like I am right now, I can finish by the end of this school year!" She doesn't worry that her age or slight stature will get in the way of someday landing a job as a police officer. "I'm at the top of my class, I'm CPR trained and certified, I'm a volunteer life guard and I read books to old people; I have everything going for me, why couldn't I also get my dream job right out of school?" Favorite Christmas Memory: Feeding the homeless.